Bryghyde

you whispered shadow your tongue spilled all the things i couldn't say i am not who i always dreamed of being but i'm not what they see in me reflect me fragmented the blackest pieces you spoke my ache in images too warped for words mysticism in kisses and morbid adoration i believed between the two of us we could make one complete human and one complete ghost romanticized self-loathing and the loss that only comes when some vital part of you dies i thought i knew you but i only saw what you offered me i only saw myself in you blush blue sick and shameful buried in the beautiful mask you created for such an occasi

i collect names and numbers like stamps in a little book leather bound spine still stiff i only open it to tell myself i'm popular yeah, i've got friends all over the world beautiful people with beautiful bodies and beautiful minds they don't call me by my real name yeah, i've got friends all over the world but they're not the kind of friends you call when you're crying...

speak in slow-motion i will read your lips with mine try to get inside your mind dig deeper push for the secrets you scream i want to trust you but darling you make it so hard to give you my heart without getting my blood on your hands

i'm sick of carrots of living on rabbit food nicotine and green tea in the hopes it'll make me something i never was- pretty. another glass of water and that's where i draw the line another cigarette and i'll be fine spent hours wasted in a mirror wasted away living reflections that no one else can see and echoes of mother dear- 'maybe you shouldn't eat that' there's a boy that loves me and tells me i'm sexy but his blue eyes don't see what i see maybe you need better glasses, darling maybe then you'll understand i'm sick of obsessing over pictures of skeleton dances and runway revivals staring for hours at the hip

she is the disease she bleeds in dreams catatonic close your eyes, girl they say she's sick yeah, they say she's fading fast she says- 'the virus eats away consumes me- it's all that i have left' the pills won't kill it now no cure for what i have become nothing will save me now i am diseased don't say i'm okay and please don't pray infected now this plague defines me they say i'm sick yeah, they say i'm fading fast but it's all i know for certain it's all that i have left the pills won't kill it now no cure for what i have become nothing will save me now i am diseased don't hold my hand too weak to stand a leper

I am a fraction of myself. pieces of memories. pieces of a life. incomplete. fragmented thoughts. shards of feeling. i am not whole. a puzzle left undone. a history in third-hand rhyme. i am divided. shattered. a patchwork person. a real-life frankenstein. i am not whole. i am a fraction of myself.

will you save me from a day that's not my own? will you break me just to let me know you've won? and all the words that spill from your lips taste like liquor to me, love and all the promises you've killed feel like a drug will you make me cry tonight to see my soft side? will you keep me in your arms all through the dark night? and when you drag me through the pain to all the pleasure you can bring it's like a heaven you can only find when you let go of everything will you?